This is external study and working material. Independent 3rd-party work is not associated with OCPS.
My Beliefs – A Mixture of Paganism and Satanism
MissPuffPaff, May 25, 2018
My gods are Thoth and Lucifer, but Thoth really is my main god/patron. I can’t totally define what and why they are. They are some kind of energy with a personality. They don’t consist of atoms, but are not formless either. They consist of souls, just like us, but own multiple. They are not entirely on this plane, but close. I don’t know much more; it’s easier to describe, how they are/what they do:
Lucifer is more like the head of earth’s pantheon for me. So I worship him, because he’s the leader and not because I chose him. But also, because Thoth respects him. Lucifer is pure light for me. Very calm and collected, while also being rather powerful. Sometimes dark sides of his shimmer through his light however. It’s still quite nice to work with him.
Thoth (who is also Hermes and Mercury) in comparison, I chose. He fits me perfectly personality-wise and stands for things I like. He’s intelligent and likes to gather knowledge, but he has also got a bit of a trickster side to him, which can sometimes end with me being pranked. He’s not perfect. He’s not unfailing. He sometimes gets sad and angry, too. But that is what I like! I never wanted a god who was without dark sides, as I would not be able to personify with them. This makes him somewhat human.
I can talk to him and with him about everything. He might judge a bit, but only slightly. Anyway, he will try to help. He mostly does this by blatantly pointing out, that it’s not always the other’s fault, but also mine and how I can improve. He’s a rather good teacher.
The problem for me with other gods, e.g YHWH, Allah or even other pagan ones is, that I can’t hear them. I can’t feel, smell and see them either. It’s like there just was nobody. With Thoth, it’s different (with Lucifer, too). I can hear and feel him. I feel him being alive and a real thing. And it was like that from the very beginning, it was nothing I had to work towards to. I’m not saying, that the others don’t exist. It’s just that they are strangers to me; they aren’t my patrons.
All known and unknown gods exist. Of course, normally that would be seen as contradictory. For example Christianity claims, that only their god is real. In my views, YHWH is more or less lying, to gain more followers. Also, the so called “demons” and “angles” are the other gods. This enables YHWH to just claim any miracles that happen without him doing anything, being done by his angels or the demons. The more people believe in a god, the more mighty he gets.
Also, some gods from different pantheons just are one person. For example Thoth is also Mercury and Hermes. This can be seen by very similar characteristics, symbols, functions and more.
Gods consist of multiple souls, while we only have one. Still, together they form one being. The more souls, the stronger they get. Gods and other soul-groups may merge if they are both complete and form a new one, or decide on one of the old ones. This can go on indefinitely, as long as there are any more souls. Usually, the gods have to be “best friends” or lovers to do so.
Gods are not perfect, they have their flaws and dark sides as well.
Not every higher being needs to be a god. It’s like a job so to say. There are other soul-groups as well, but they just don’t interact with and show themselves to humans often. They have different “jobs”. They aren’t there to guide humans and create miracles. They could, for example, have the “job” to stabilize reality, help building new worlds or control time. They aren’t inferior to gods however. They are equal.
Patrons and Matrons:
Every human being has at least one patron or matron. They don’t have to be a god. They can also be something different, like one’s ancestors or some other kind of soul-group. They usually have a lot in common with oneself. They are there to guide us in life, but also create challenges. They teach us valuable lessons through that. They can’t prevent death entirely, but they may propose when it’s time for one to die.
Every planet has at least one god, who is mainly responsible for it’s inhabitants. For earth, it’s Lucifer. They created that planet in any way they liked. They are the “boss” of the other gods meddling in that planet. They have to follow his rules. Those gods however, possess their own planets. So, Lucifer might not be “boss” on the moon for example.
Then, every solar system, galaxy, cluster and so on has at least one main god as well, coordinating the gods below them. The main god of a planet may also be the main god of the galaxy for example.
The highest being is the Creator. He is the one who created everything. He is the nothingness that became aware of itself and formed everything afterwards.
Life is just a game. The Creator became bored of not doing anything, so he created it. He split himself in two halfs, we right now, are the first to play, while the others watch and direct it. It’s simple: Every soul must go through life and succeed at it before being allowed to permanently join their soul-group. Succeeding means, learning lessons through challenges. Learning love, compassion, confidence, kindness and so on. That’s why our lives are never easy. If you don’t succeed before death, you’ll return to your group for a short time. They brief you and all of you decide, what life you’ll life next and on which planet. You’ll do this until you succeed.
Btw, if you commit suicide, you will automatically fail and have to try again.
If all souls succeeded, the group may merge with another. The end goal of the game is to merge all groups into one, reforming the first half. Then the other one plays and we watch. If you’re finished, you may play again for fun. Usually though, you’ll get new work and challenges, e.g. being a god,
Of course, there must have been a time, when every soul of a group was in the game. This is only tragic, if your soul group is your patron at the same time. Then, the Creator is your patron.
If almost everyone is finished, but a few souls, it might be quite empty on a planet. Then, a lot of people you meet are soul-less projections or souls playing for fun.
Good and Evil:
To succeed at the game, you don’t have to be entirely good and a perfect being. You can still have flaws and like angering others. No one is just one thing. No one is only good or bad. You don’t need to 100% this game to win. You can win with less than that, I.e. you won’t have to learn every lesson.
There are multiple realities, coexisting at any give time. One changes into another, similar one thousands of times per second. You never stay in just one. One can change into a different set of realities through intent and belief, see the Law of attraction or r/dimensionaljumping for that. Basically, you focus on what you don’t want, then on what you want. Afterwards you know you’re in the dimension, where that, which you want, is true. That’s it.
Is real, but sometimes hard. You have to believe in it or it won’t work. Earth is not a very magical planet by default. There are planets however, which are basically like the Harry Potter Universe, where magic can be easily done. You have to work hard to achieve anything here, though.
Miracles and Prove [sic] of Belief:
Sometimes, you want a prove that all of this is real. You won’t get any miracles. The game would be too boring, the rules of magic redundant and believe useless, if you got them. You’ll have to settle for small things. I asked in the beginning:” if you are truly real, I want to see three spiders today”. That’s something, that might just be coincidence if it happens. So this will most likely be done for you. Anything you ask for must always be something that’s possible and might be coincidence. Why? Because then you’ll doubt yourself, which is a new challenge and also loads of fun for the guys up above. Sometimes the prove will fail. It most likely happens, if you try to force it. E.g. if I frantically searched for spiders everywhere or just googled them. Or if you doubted too much.
They are Lucifer’s. Their members are either his souls or he is their patron. They represent him and coordinate earth from the shadows. You can’t join if you aren’t his and you’ll know if you are. You might work with them however.
Q (OCPS) & A (Author)
OK. So do you experience them both as bringing balance, i.e. do they complement each other as yin and yang would for instance or are they complementary in a different way?
They aren’t complete contrasts of each other in every characteristic, but in some they are. They balance each other out quite well. E.g. I associate Thoth with darkness, while I associate Lucifer with light, so they do complete each other in that way.
I understand that you seem to want both since you choose to worship both voluntarily. How exactly do you worship both? For instance can both be worshiped at the same time in a single ritual or occasion?
Yes, I can worship them at once. I usually pray in the evenings to them. At first I’ve just did one big prayer for both of them, but nowadays I separate them, as it is easier to focus on one at a time. Also some things only concern one of them, not both. Further, my relationship with Thoth is different, closer in a way than that to Lucifer, as Thoth is my patron. So, I usually talk more to Thoth anyway and do more stuff for him than Lucifer.
Also, what sensation do you experience when you”hear” and “feel” Thoth? Is this identical for Lucifer?
Usually, I can hear both in my mind, like I would hear my own voice. However, they have different voices. It took some time to be able to properly understand them, but it’s easy now. When I feel them, it’s mostly just a presence encompassing me. Lucifer’s presence seems more “heavy”, while Thoth’s feels “lighter” and a bit more “lively”. What both have in common though, is that they sometimes smother me with a feeling of love, which is nice. It’s all warm and cuddly then, too 🙂 Sometimes I can smell Thoth a bit, but that’s really rare. Also, I can tell where they are in a room, but not really see them. I’m still working on that, as of now, I’m only seeing very vague shapes in the darkness.
Is “Lucifer” in the same realm or plane as Satan for you?
For me, Satan is just a title for Lucifer, given to him by Christians
How do you know the hierarchy that you believe there is in relation to Thoth and Lucifer?
Thoth explained me. Also, I was originally only a satanist, where, of course, Lucifer would have been no. 1. Well, he’s not really the highest one. Only for earth. There are beings higher than him outside.
Also, except for other religions wanting to have a boogeyman, hence “the devil”, why do you think or believe that both Satan and Lucifer are often used to refer to evil?
I think, that really almost all pagan gods are seen as evil, Lucifer just being representative of that. If the people are scared of the old gods, they won’t worship them, leading them to abrahamic religions. Lucifer is seen as especially evil to hide his true, good nature. Again, he’s not perfect, but nearly.
Do you feel there is still room for you to expand your views or do you (want to) limit yourself now to what you have described above?
I won’t give up on Thoth and Lucifer any longer, no. However, my believes change almost weekly, as I’m learning new things. So yes, I can expand them.
“There are beings higher than him outside.” Can you sense them/it?
The highest one, yes. He’s the Creator, he created everything as far as I understand. He’s made out of an uncountable number of souls (for reference, I belief Thoth to have 6 souls). I can only picture him as some kind of cloud in space like this for example https://goo.gl/images/xSRXFt .
It’s hard to distinguish any concrete personality. He’s just, too big. I can’t sense him on earth either. He seems very far away. I’m still learning about him. So I don’t know a lot.
Between the Creator and Lucifer, there are other things, Thoth tells me. But I can’t sense them, or rather have not tried yet